After years of internal conflict, Ron Jenkins of Clacton has finally agreed that Fearne Cotton and Fern Britton aren't the same person.
'It's been quite a journey', said an exhausted looking Mr Jenkins. 'It started when I mentioned in the public bar that Fern Britton was looking good for someone who presented Breakfast TV in the 1980s. A long discussion involving several Google searches ensued and I finally had to admit that there might actually be two people with similar names who did similar jobs.'
With the debate settled, Mr Jenkins is hoping to return to a quiet private life. 'I'm going to be watching the cricket - Jos Buttler's batting, or is it Jonny Bairstow?'