A notorious fraudster has posed as the Prime Minister, Keir Starmer, on more than twenty occasions, without being detected.
Shoppers attending the opening of a new PoundBeater store in Formby, Lancs., expressed their approval as the doppelgänger PM cut the ribbon and made an impromptu trolley dash through the aisles. 'There's someone who understands the cost of living crisis,' said one spectator, as Keir emerged triumphantly with an armful of slightly bent, but reduced, Curlywurly bars. After the opening, he popped into a local hairdresser's to have his hair re-oiled and lacquered back into position. 'Doris asked him if he wanted a shampoo, but he said he never used it,' said one awestruck OAP. 'He looked just like he does on telly.'
The lookey-likey also went to the darts at the Ally Pally, dressed as a minion. 'We thought,' said a security guard, 'that the PM was making a political statement about Ukraine or something, You know, blue and yellow. He was certainly having a good time, and he was packing away the lagers. When Luke Littler won, he went absolutely ape. That's when we started wondering if the pressures of the job were getting to him.'
The double is also thought to have attended is a recent Cabinet Meeting, after shutting the PM in a cupboard. 'I thought it was a bit off,' said Rachel Reeves. 'We were telling him to make a statement about Maduro and Trump, but he said no to that. We asked him if the kidnapping was legal under international law, but he just started talking about Arsenal's recent poor form. When we asked if we could beat Reform in the May elections, he said 'probably not'. So, to be honest, it was all very convincing and the imposter did nothing to give himself away.'
Image: Newsbiscuit Archive
