Rather than stay up until stupid-o'clock, to find out who won Best Botox or Most Plausible Merkin, Hamid Alvi (34) decided to become comatose by a more natural method. He replied: ‘Who cares who is Best Boom Operator or who won the Award for Best Font in a Subtitle?'
While Hamid dreamed of sugar-plumed fairies, plummy actors, with sugar-coated nostrils gave each other awards. 'It was a tough decision, watch endless, mind-numbing, toe-curling, self-congratulatory pap or a have good night's kip. Usually, the biggest applause of the evening goes to a montage of dead actors.’
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