top of page

Man wildly optimistic ahead of flat pack assembly

A man with no DIY experience has set aside around 15 minutes to assemble a 300 piece cabin bed this weekend.


Having glanced through the 36-page instruction booklet, 40-year-old Nick Ferguson plans to start the job at around 6pm on Saturday and will definitely be done by quarter past if not slightly before.


'I'll simultaneously be making a vegetarian chilli,' he said. 'And I'm going to complete both tasks in a cool and fun way that involves my three young children.'


Meanwhile Mrs Ferguson was hastily making plans to take the kids to her mothers.


'DIY with Nick is what you might call a journey,' she said.


'One that begins relatively calmly, progresses to high strength alcohol and ends with him screaming Rudyard Kiplings 'If' into the mirror at around 1.30am.


'Usually with a serious injury to his face or hands.'


Image: Pixabay/bidvine

17 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Despite live-tweeting the killing of Osama, it turns out the CIA spent much of the 80s sending Afghan warlords $630 million in annual payments, in exchange for explicit images of Bin Laden provocative

Using its billionaire dollar empire, Facebook intends to purchase creative ownership of large portions of the English language and a significant portion of the air you breathe. A Facebook executive e

bottom of page