New rules for Strictly Come Adultering

The BBC is putting the Come into Strictly Come Dancing, as couples are judged and voted off, based on their likelihood of copping off during rehearsals. Extra points are available depending on the length of the marriages that are ruined. A “ten from Len” will require the couple engage in full sex during their Saturday night routine.

One overweight male married celebrity said ‘Strictly curse? An attractive dancer, half naked and half my age grinding on me seems like the opposite of a curse. Anyway, my wife probably won’t leave me and take the kids?’

His dance partner openly wept with Claudia Winkleman, but did dismiss controversy about the Strictly cast’s Covid vaccinations, saying ‘I don’t want foreign bodies inside me, but vaccines are fine.’

To somehow increase the “Britishness” of Strictly, and violating Tess Daly’s restraining order, the 2021 final will be presented by the twitching lecherous reanimated corpse of Bruce Forsyth.

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