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North Korea kills ‘capitalist fish-dog’


Using four targeted ballistic missiles, North Korea has successfully purged the Sea of Japan of U.S. Imperialist fish. In a glorious victory for the Democratic People's Republic, mermaids will now be free to make sweet love to their liberator, Kim Jong-Un.


North Korean officials have likened the military display as one in the face for that Yankee SpongeBob Squarepants. Subsequent celebrations in Pyongyang have involved schoolchildren tastefully bludgeoning a squid dressed as ‘Uncle Sam’. North Korean historians have placed a large conch in Kim Jong-Un’s trophy cabinet, alongside his 2014 FIFA World Cup and eight Grammy’s, while Kim Jong-Un himself has promised ‘plaice in our time’.


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