top of page

North Korea kills ‘capitalist fish-dog’

Using four targeted ballistic missiles, North Korea has successfully purged the Sea of Japan of U.S. Imperialist fish. In a glorious victory for the Democratic People's Republic, mermaids will now be free to make sweet love to their liberator, Kim Jong-Un.

North Korean officials have likened the military display as one in the face for that Yankee SpongeBob Squarepants. Subsequent celebrations in Pyongyang have involved schoolchildren tastefully bludgeoning a squid dressed as ‘Uncle Sam’. North Korean historians have placed a large conch in Kim Jong-Un’s trophy cabinet, alongside his 2014 FIFA World Cup and eight Grammy’s, while Kim Jong-Un himself has promised ‘plaice in our time’.

If you enjoyed this archive item, why not buy thousands of archive stories found in our eBooks, paperbacks and hardbacks?

24 views0 comments


bottom of page