The NHS in a bid to encourage patients to get routine check-ups, will be employing a host of entertainers, such as clowns to test your blood pressure and balloon models to represent your impacted bowel. Face-painting can be used to spot the early signs of skin cancer, jugglers will provide animated breast examinations, and if you want gravitas, ‘national treasure’ Dame Judi Dench will read out your chlamydia result.
One Nurse explained: ‘You could be in a crowded railway station, when suddenly a flash mob of trained health professionals will launch into action. Through a combination of elaborate dance and brute force, we will pin you to the ground and administer a rigorous prostate examination and remove your appendix – just in case.’
Confessed one patient: ‘I love the idea of a flash mob. I was in Weatherspoon, when suddenly all the customers started spontaneously singing and then they roughly forced me to me to check my testes for lumps. It was only afterwards I discovered they weren’t doctors and that this was just an average Friday night at ‘Spoons.’
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