top of page

Save on Winter fuel costs – use the elderly as kindling


One Eugenicist explained: ‘It’s a delicate balance between caring and supporting the weakest in society, but not really wanting to pay for them. If a few more of the elderly would have the good grace to pop their clogs a little earlier, we could make serious inroads into the pensions deficit’.


The Department for Work and Pensions propose to give them a helping hand or a little push in the right direction: ‘We’re looking to shave off a smidgeon of their life expectancy – TV licences made of asbestos, lead-coated bus passes and giving them a nice warm coat, made to look like a large badger suit’.





IMAGE: https://pixabay.com/users/hg-fotografie-2282886/

64 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Her Majesty, resplendent in an 'I'm 90' badge and matching tiara, went out to survey her grovelling Proles. With a spryness that belied her years and billionaire lifestyle, Queen Elizabeth took a 'ce

Having gone head to head with Spiderman, the Caped Crusader is set to do battle with the latest super-villain - a sexually transmitted infection, in 3D! Action-packed sequences of puss-like discharge

Cinemas are now no more than places to experience over-priced popcorn and avoid the weather. With one of America’s largest cinema chains (AMC) allowing millennials to text during films, customers will

bottom of page