Concerns have been raised that Scotland is now undermining the United Kingdom’s suicide pact by reopening schools with a variety of safety measures. Complained one English MP: ‘It’s cowardly. Do the Scots not realise that death by respiratory illness is good for you? I’ve been licking school kids for years, to no ill effect. And handwashing is for terrorists. Besides Scottish Independence will be unaffordable if everyone lives longer.’
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