Heroin and chips have become the meal of choice for coastal communities and thieving seagulls. Seaside resort towns are said to have the highest death rates through heroin, but that is mainly due to 'jacked-up' seagulls colliding with shipping. The average bird can consume its own bodyweight in heroin every day, meaning that being shat upon by a seagull is still considered to be lucky and has a street value of £20 - hence the expression 'this shit is good'.
Said one tourist: 'I was busy chasing the dragon and then all of sudden I was being frantically pursued by a herring gull. It was like Hitchcock had directed 'Trainspotting'.’ Holidaymakers hoping to enjoy a nice cone of chips or a bag of china-white, are advised to gently heat their heroin undercover of a beach brolly – and at least thirty minutes before swimming.
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