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Sex-slave from Jabba's palace complains about 'wretched hive of scum and villainy'



The unnamed Princess said: ‘I was in the Mos Eisley Cantina, minding my own business, and someone rohypnolled my caipirinha. The next thing, I’m being shanghaied- while the Modal Nodes play the 'Girl from Ipanema. Before I know it, I’m composing holographic ransom pleas, while wearing Danish pastries on the side of my head.


‘Annoyingly, I’m always cleaning out bits of sand from my slave outfit. And I just know they will soon be back - and in greater numbers.’



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