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Surgeons could save time by not washing their hands.




Up to two hours of surgery time could be saved per day by cutting out unnecessary luxuries, such as surgical scrubs and using an anaesthetic. A study by NHS Improvement concluded that if surgeons were less fussy about coughing into open wounds, then 280,000 extra operations could occur – followed by a further 280,000 deaths, due to complications.


Using the abattoir model, patients could efficiently be operated on in rows, as they stoically hang from meat hooks. Explained one Minister: ‘It’s cheaper, are more efficient if when ‘going under the knife’, we simply used plastic cutlery. Too often the NHS squanders efficiency by insisting that their medical staff are rested, qualified or sober. The time-management study revealed that operation times could be halved, patients to operate on themselves while accompanied by the ‘Countdown’ clock.’



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