The Tory party have decided to vote for their new leader soley who has the most evil sounding, power crazed, princess stealing name.
Sunak who conjures the image of a snake with fangs, claims to be bog standard evil and is assembling a horde of goblin Grant Shapps lookalikes to blame for various inevitable disasters.
Mordaunt, who plans to campaign in jackboots with a whip, claims she has self made villain credentials to achieve world domination. This however could merely be smoke and mirrors, though dalmatians have disappeared near her campaign HQ.
Tugendhat is the fish course, they say he was unwelcome in the BBC canteen and that drove him mad, spurned he retreated to the depths of television centre and created a race of camera operating crab people for better PR.
Truss sounds like she should be running South Africa during apartheid. Furious with British cheese imports, she has advocated for the blanket bombing french dairy farms.
'Hail Mordaunt' said John Wittingdale 'Long may she reign.'
image from pixabay