To pay for skyrocketing legal fees in a desperate bid to stay out of prison, The Donald is milking his support base with a new range of overpriced Trump-branded sex dolls.
'These sex dolls are like totally amazing,' said one customer and loyal Trumpeteer. 'I especially like how he has made them so unlifelike in his own image. The small hands really make you feel like you're king of the world, and after use, your bed sheets are a great new shade of yellowy-orange.'
It is unclear whether the shade of yellowy orange is more a result of staining from the extreme skin tone, or the leakage of real urine (Genurineâ„¢) from the built in bladder.
Image: Newsbiscuit
H/T: kitcaboodle
Don't give him ideas.