Scientists invent semiidiotics to explain Trump's dumbness

Have you ever wondered why Donald Trump tries to get a peace deal with Iran by repeatedly bombing it? Or why he ever attacked Iran in the first place?

Political scientists have developed a new discipline called semiidiotics to try and account for every bungling mistake he's ever made - over tariffs, America's 250th anniversary celebrations, the east wing of the White House, and all the rest.

'The only problem with semiidiotics,' said Professor Hiram B. Pipesucker of the University of New Dworkin, 'is you have to be a halfwit to even start understanding the policies of this unbelievable oaf.

'We're now working on another system, called full-on-idiotics, to make Trump's behaviour completely comprehensible to total imbeciles. We're hoping they can then explain it to the rest of us.'

Image: WixAI

Ballroom will come with playpen and pervert dungeon

A ballroom being built will now also include lots of things for perverts to do.

No one really knows why there will be a dance floor, as the wretched psychopaths who will be invited to the gauche annex are so self-despising and bored with life that they are only interested in shoving things up themselves and others.

The playpen had confused some speculators, but a pervert insider confirmed that is where the live food will be corralled.

An area to the side is the childbrain of the mantis scrotum responsible for this epic nonsense. There, workmen will be constantly drilling, because the mantis scrotum likes the sound of it so much.

image from pixabay

Trump calls off Tube strikes at last minute

"We were going to carry out massive strikes across the London Underground network, like you'd never believe," messaged Donald Trump on his social media platform Deceit Hostile.

"We were going to use bunker busting bombs on the Bakerloo line and knock it right back to the Stone Age.

"But my generals took one look at the intelligence images of Embankment station and told me it's pretty much in the Stone Age as it is.

"So we'll be holding talks with the unions about enrichment. I'll be telling my minion Starmer to enrich the train drivers as much as they like, with the passengers paying the cost through higher fares. That's always worked in the past.

"People are also saying to me: 'Sir, will you manage to re-open the Strait of Hainault to allow transit through to Theydon Bois and Barking?'

"We'll see, but why not? This whole venture of mine in the Middle East End of London has been totally barking, anyway."

image from Grok