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    • Chipchase
      • May 7
      • 1 min read

    Extraordinary scenes in Sheffield as Trump refuses to accept defeat in World Snooker Final


    There were extraordinary scenes at The Crucible Theatre in Sheffield at the conclusion of the World Snooker Final when organisers tried to crown the now seven-time champion Ronnie O'Sullivan.


    His opponent, Judd Trump, leapt on the table screaming the match was "a fix" and vowed not to let O'Sullivan's coronation go ahead. Incandescent with rage Trump told Hazel Irvine, 'This was a rigged competition. There has been wholesale cheating going on and we've got proof. Yes we have. We have evidence of this. Much and bigly evidence. FACT!'


    The Bristolian then tried to incite a riot among his supporters but when that failed and Barry Hearn turned a deaf ear to his complaints, Trump grudgingly conceded defeat before storming out of the theatre.


    photo: https://pixabay.com/users/taraghb-2098966/

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    • Pagdog07
      • Mar 8
      • 1 min read

    Farage hits peak Boomer




    Scientists at the Bohn Institute of Entitlement have warned that Nigel Farage my have hit peak Boomer, after his latest campaign to stop NetZero.


    Prof Werner Speigeltuber said "It's really hard to see how anyone can be more Boomer than this. It's a sad day for the whole generation that have nowhere left to go from here."


    A generation of boomers took to Twitter to voice their concern before realising they didn't really understand how Twitter worked, and were foiled by coming up with a secure password they could remember or seeing enough bicycles in a Captcha.


    Experts had thought that former US President Donald Trump would be the first to reach Peak Boomer, but at a pointless rally he declared "Boy that Farage! And those snowflakes thought I was a dick!"


    Boomers are famous for mistakenly thinking they lived through the war, and have endured rising living standards no other human generation could imagine, all the while leaving a scorched earth of social and environmental problems for "avocado-munching Generation Zers" to figure out.


    Farage couldn't be reached for comment as no one at NewsBiscuit could bear to speak to him.

    Image: Pixabay/catazul

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    • Gerontius
      • Mar 7
      • 1 min read

    ‘Bombing schools and shooting children is smart’ claims Trump



    Sources close to former US President Donald Trump have said he has described the bombing of schools and shooting of children as ‘smart’ and says US politicians could learn a lesson or two from the Russian strong man ensconced in the Kremlin who gave the green light for butchering women and children in Ukraine.


    Mr.Trump is thought to have said Mr. Putin would never allow an election to be rigged or stolen in his country and would have locked up anybody who threatened to stop him from holding free and fair elections.


    The former US President is said to have said that is how American elections should be run in the future, once Republicans were back in power.


    According to one source, Trump said that ‘Putin is savvy….he has gone into Ukraine to save the Ukrainian people from having a democratically elected government forced upon them. He is there to liberate them. This s why he is bombing apartment blocks and schools, cutting down women and children in the street and destroying cities.


    'It is text book tactics and will soon win the hearts and minds of the Ukrainian people.....at least what is left of them. In fact, he would not actually allow an election to be held in the first place which would absolutely guarantee it could not be stolen.


    'He’s a smart guy’.


    Image: Pixabay/ralfskysegal

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