8 billion people and they all voted for me says Trump

As the world’s population hits the 8 billion mark, one Florida-based pensioner who used to be on TV and social media, claimed they had all voted for him.

Donald Trump reportedly claimed that 9 billion votes were ‘stolen’ from him in the 2020 US Presidential election, 10 billion had attended his most recent rally and 11 billion Mexicans were currently crossing the southern US border. He claimed he would only send 12 billion tweets if allowed back on to the platform and he was innocent of 13 billion counts of sexual assault against him and he was 14 billion percent sure of winning the 2024, 2028, 2032 and 2036 US Presidential elections.

Trump estimates his own fortune and real estate square footage at 15 billion, unless the American tax authorities are asking, in which case it’s making a loss.

Earth to be Recycled	Five Go Dobbing in the Neighbours

Image: Pixabay/johnhain

Donald Trump announces he's running for whatever Elon Musk says

In a turn of events everyone saw coming apart from Fox News, a multi-billionaire has backed the really corrupt billionaire side of American politics. In return he will receive full privileges, the immediate enaction of whatever whim pops into his head of a morning, and everyone else's money.

In addition, American political institutions will be stormed five times a day, and anyone looking a bit Democrat will be cancelled in the face and have their desk shat on. Including Republicans who don't communicate exclusively in short bursts of assault rifle.

In his defence, Twitter's fact check team confirmed that the former social media platform is now powered entirely by Elon Musk furiously wanking off to Fabergé Eggs being fed through wood chippers.

Trump turd trufflers added, 'The creatures outside looked from rampage instigator to Twitter destroyer, and from dildo rocketeer to pussy grabber again; but already it was impossible to say which was which.'

Image: Pixabay/geralt

Investors atwitter as Trump calls Musk 'sane'.

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