US decides it is now uninterested in Greenland because it has 'got smaller'
- Wally Dug
- 1 hour ago
- 2 min read
The UN General Assembly voted to replace the 16th Century Mercator world map with one that more accurately reflects the actual size of actual places. The Mercator map depicts Africa as similar in size to Greenland, even though it is 14 times larger.
Although most members voted to support the resolution, there were six abstentions. Only one country, geography specialists the USA, voted against the resolution.
When later asked why that was the case, United States Ambassador to the United Nations, Mike Waltz, said, 'I got a call from the US State Department, from Marco Rubio himself. The President isn't very happy that Greenland could be reduced in size as a result of this vote, so I was instructed to vote against.
'The United States needs Greenland to remain the size it is. If it gets smaller as a result of this vote, then we are no longer interested in buying it.'
When pressed if that meant that US international expansion had been stopped, Mr Waltz hesitated to continue: 'Well, uh, Africa starts and ends with the same letters as America does, so that means that... I'm almost embarrassed to say this, but, well, uh, America wants to buy Africa.
'Now if you'll excuse me, I need to wear a paper bag over my head and go sit in a small closet in a locked, darkened room. Come get me when it's over.'
Why not join our WhatsApp channel, NewsBiscuit Daily Posts? You can access the latest output from NewsBiscuit and share posts easily with friends, family and colleagues using WhatsApp. Get some biscuits in your pocket (sorry about the crumbs, though) by clicking here
