Truss' Growth Coalition 'like the Britannia Music Club'
PM Liz Truss has released details today of an exclusive new society for promoting economic growth, which will operate in a similar way to the popular Britannia Music Club, seen on the back pages of Sunday magazine supplements throughout the 1980s.
‘Members of the Growth Coalition will have the chance to purchase 4 individual growth policies for the introductory price of £1’, announced a spokesperson close to Truss. ‘This includes some chart-topping initiatives like Enterprise Zones, reduced business red-tape and the like’.
‘All we ask is that subscribers then purchase a further 8 supply-side policies over the next two years, including things like welfare cuts, tax breaks for the rich. We will send members these policies automatically in the post. They can, of course, cancel at any time by sending them back to us by recorded delivery on the same day they receive them’
‘After 3 years, you will own a coherent package of growth-led reforms that will be the envy of all those anti-growth vested interests, militant trade unions, BBC and Jamie Oliver types’, continued the spokesperson. ‘You might also consider buying our custom-made cabinet (RRP, £599) to proudly display all your policies.’
Truss also announced that members of the Growth Coalition will be able to purchase a 48-part magazine, ‘Growth, growth, growth for beginners’.
‘The first issue is available for 99p and includes a free gift of reduced business rates’, said the spokesperson. 'With 47 subsequent issues at £9.99 each, this will over time build into a beautiful and comprehensive record of right-wing nonsense’.