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 Labour Party activists are excited by the chance to put one over on the Tories.


0ne insider told us, 'When the Tories sacked Theresa May, they set in motion a downward doom spiral from which they never recovered. Boris, partygate, internal divisions, scandal, defections, Liz Lettuce, Kwazy Kwasi and then Rishi got the hospital pass and finally a massive election wipe out.'


'Labour is at the top of that ski slope. If we can push out Keir, then we can ignore the national interest and just rip the party to pieces. Andy Burnham! Angela Rayner! Lucy Powell! Anas Sarwar! It'll be brutal. No-one will come out alive. It'll be so much better than sorting out railways or hospitals or benefit or housing. Finally, some real political drama. I'm so excited. I can't wait. We're going to make the Tories look like rank amateurs at self-destructive in-fighting and civil war!'


image from pixabay



Jake Paul, the influencer and amateur boxer, did not do well in his boxing match with Anthony Joshua. But canny political operator Liz Truss has noticed how much publicity the match attracted, and is now keen to fight Anthony Joshua herself.


Although Liz Truss has no boxing experience at all, she still fancies her chances. 'It's an all British match,' she shrieked with unaccountable gusto, 'It'll be EPIC,' she yelled, lapsing into upper case, just like her hero, Donald Trump.


Liz will need to secure financial backing for the fight. Some Tory donors are apparently quite keen. 'It would be well worth the money,' said one through gritted teeth.


Liz expects to make over a million from the fight, and could make more than twenty million by betting on herself to win. And the fight will get her a huge amount of free publicity. GB News leads the race for the TV rights. 'I can't use the BBC,' she said, 'I need this to be broadcast in America, too.'


'When I win,' said Liz, with a steely glint in her eyes, 'I will immediately challenge Nigel Farage to a fight. Then we'll see who's the Daddy.'



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