No. 10 denies Truss was appointed SPAD in the Treasury Dept.

With the many vacillations regarding recent backpedalling involving previously leaked Treasury Department policies and plans, No.10 has been forced into making a strong rebuttal Liz Truss was brought in as a SPAD with a specific brief to advise on the upcoming Budget.

A Labour Party spokesperson said, 'Look, we understand these rumours, albeit Ms. Truss's methods were perhaps considerably better conceived than Rachel's, nevertheless, the Chancellor wishes to state categorically she takes full responsibility for this current, utter shambles herself.'

Race to become BBC's new chief suit: who are you betting on?

Campaigning is underway amongst candidates vying for the top job in British broadcasting: Suit-General of the BBC.

This prestigious post requires the holder to wear a suit (glasses optional), attend meetings and think of ways to spend the £585,000 annual salary. Occasionally, the Suit-General must attend parliamentary committee hearings and spend an afternoon there sounding tongue-tied while gulping like a landed trout.

Who are you putting your shirt on for this coveted post?

Liz Truss: Not a stayer, and incurably insane, but she can be trusted to produce some stunningly bad news for BBC journalists to cover - 2/5

Jordan, aka Katie Price: has some giant assets to bring to the role - 3/5

Lord Birt of Dalekshire: crisis times at the corporation could see the return of the BBC's most unloveable sci-fi character ever. Exterminated everyone's will to live in the 1990s by constantly croaking about upward vectoring cost curves - 1/100 outsider

Sooty and Sweep: these loveable BBC bureaucrat puppets from the 1970s could also make a comeback - 5/3 odds on

Donald Trump - the chance to talk about himself constantly across the BBC's 4 TV channels, 6 radio stations and dozens of pages online could prove irresistible to the world's most relentless self-promoter. He's suing the Beeb for $1bn, so if he takes it over he'll be suing and bankrupting himself - 100/1 odds on favourite.

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Massive search underway after last piece of Liz Truss’s credibility ‘goes out of window’

A huge police search was under way for Liz Truss’s credibility after the final piece of it was said to have gone out of the window at PMQs.

‘She only had a very tiny bit of credibility in the first place’ said a spokesperson for the Met Police ‘and this was kept constantly guarded under lock and key inside Number 10 by our trusty, highly respected officers’.

‘Unfortunately, even this miniscule remaining amount has now somehow managed to escape - with someone so incompetent like Truss this sort of thing can occasionally happen, continued the spokesperson.'

‘We were all busy watching Truss flounder as Keir Starmer did his stand-up routine at Prime Ministers Questions and as Truss said, 'I'm a fighter not a quitter', the last piece of her credibility must have taken the chance to leg it out of the number 10 window.

‘We want to reassure the public though that having a bit of her credibility on the loose isn’t dangerous’, said the spokesperson. ‘You won’t be able to see it with the naked eye, as it is really very small. And it has a very short half-life – we know this as it has deteriorated incredibly rapidly even over the last few days.’

The news comes on the back of a number of other high-profile losses in recent months, including Boris Johnson's integrity and any semblance of government competence.

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First published 20 Oct 2021

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