In order to protect the UK’s fisheries post-Brexit, the Environment Secretary has issued Letters of the Marque to any Salty Jack or Rancid Boris. The Channel will now be awash with privateers and villainous scum or as we know them - hedge fund managers.
On board the ‘HMS Strong & Stable’, the Minister explained that he would be guarding Britain’s sovereign waters with a cutlass in one hand and an inflatable palm tree in the other ‘Under the auspices of the Jolly Roger we will defend our cod and support our codswallop.’
Ironically the pound has devalued to one eighth of its original price, while doubloons will remain part of the Euro.
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