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We'll all be bummed by space monkeys - warns Farage‏

UKIPs leader has unveiled a stark vision of continued EU membership which involves being impregnated by aliens and being force-fed spicy food. Mr. Farage, standing beneath the logo - 'Brexit is a safe word', painted a post-apocalyptic vision of sexual molestation, so obscene, that it would make a BBC Radio DJ blush.

His aide advised the British public to hide in the nearest Anderson Shelter, wrapped inside a prophylactic sheath. He explained, with the aid of doll: ‘We’re talking about illegal aliens. Horny ones. The sort that'll come over here to sit upstream in Thames releasing thousands of salmon-sized sperm. It won’t be Rivers of Blood, it’ll be streams of spunk.'

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