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Willy Wonka to scrap 'Golden Ticket'

Golden Tickets offering foreign children fast-track visits to the Chocolate Factory are expected to be scrapped by Willy Wonka, amid pressure over links to Mike Teavee and Augustus Gloop.

A source confirmed reports of an announcement next week on those spending at least £2m on bars of chocolate.

The scheme was introduced to find someone to take over the confectionery empire, but it has been under review for some time after concerns it is open to abuse.

It is still open to the rich, such as Veruca Salt who is immature, over-indulged and manipulative, fitting right in with current government policy. Anyone who has very rich parents and lives in a mansion is welcome, especially if they have affluent parents who will give them anything they want, no matter how ridiculous the price including contracts for PPE. It is very important that they express no gratitude at all for what they are given.

However, an Oompa Loompa spokesperson was keen to promote 'levelling up' which also encourages applications from less well off children, such as Charlie Bucket who lives in a single roomed house with his entire family.

image from pixabay

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