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You no longer need to pretend you’ve seen ‘Love Island’.

Having reached its season finale, fraudulent fans of the ITV reality show can stop feigning interest. The show is filmed in Majorca, but frankly who cares? Apparently, it is on its fifth series, but whatever? It is ITV’s most, blah, blah, blah. The presenter is Caroline Flack, Caroline who? And winning couple (there’s two of them?!?) receive £50,000 in prize money, so…meh.

Said one bogus viewer: ‘It’s about an island - yes? A particular lovely island. All, sort of, surrounded by water and sandy bits. Very, very lovely. With some puffins?’ Another faker claimed: ‘It’s about a girl and a boy trapped on an island. And they’re been chased by a T-Rex and then there’s this bit in a kitchen with a raptor. Hold on…no…nope…that’s Jurassic Park.’

Explained one weary non-viewer: ‘It’s an island.  One stupid island, filled with stupid people. Now I know how mainland Europe feels about Britain.’

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