After reviewing footage of Tuesday’s incident in which Luis Suárez appeared to help himself to a chunk of Italy defender Giorgio Chiellini, Fifa has instructed the Uruguay striker’s handlers to ensure that he is ‘fed prior to all future matches’. [read...]
France has triumphed over Great Britain in a huge re-enactment of the Battle of Waterloo which took place in the same Belgian fields where Napoleon’s army was defeated, 200 years ago. [read...]
The electoral mathematics behind the Referendum vote have been thrown into chaos after an impending shortage in fruit picking labour meant that less fruit will be picked and the amount of fresh fruit and vegetables the British are morally pressurised into eating needed to be recalculated. [read...]
Crowds gathered at Stonehenge to remember the catastrophic immigration policy that led to an influx of Anglo-Saxons during the fifth century. Bringing their European laws and illuminated texts… [read...]
Managing a team of arrogant millionaires, with egos even bigger than their houses, you will be expected to deliver outstanding results against superior opposition. You should generally try to give the impression that you are somehow earning your massive salary. [read...]
