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The news written by you…

America’s smokers mourn last man to make smoking cool

too cool‘The last guy capable of making smoking appear cool, attractive and generally badass.’

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Poor people to be allowed access to landfill sites at mealtimes

someone found a lobster once‘Someone found a lobster once’

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Hot summer could wipe out Goth population, experts warn

‘They are poorly equipped to deal with high temperatures as they can’t take off their black jeans and duffel coats.’

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Self-destruct buttons are ‘a needless risk’

A health and safety watchdog has condemned self-destruct buttons as ‘dangerous and completely pointless’ in a review for the government published this week.

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Cameron to give Satan ‘second chance’ as No.10 press secretary

important to have connectionsPrime Minister David Cameron has today denied accusations of poor judgement after confirming that he has appointed Satan, former overseer of hell, as his new director of communications in Downing Street.

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