NewsBiscuit

The news written by you…

Method actor kills man during crime re-enactment

Calls are growing for the police to abandon the use of Method actors in crime re-enactments after a Cambridge man was killed in an identical murder that occurred on the same spot one week earlier.

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Love doctors ‘working longer hours than ever’

Oooh! Carry on MatronThe NHS has come under fire after a Panorama programme showed that it is ‘systematically failing’ lovesick Britons by cutting the number of ‘leurve’ doctors trained to deliver emotional and erotic first aid.

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De-classified documents reveal 4th astronaut ‘accidentally left behind’ after first moon landing

bugger!In the wake of the 40th anniversary of Apollo 11’s historic mission to the moon, recently de-classified official US documents showed that the moon landing, previously considered an outright success for NASA, had in fact seen ‘an unfortunate moment of forgetfulness in an otherwise meticulously executed operation’ leading to Melvin Haines, the fourth astronaut on the Apollo crew, being left behind on the moon’s surface.

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Gunman firing in the air finally figures out baffling fatalities

thought Allah was catching themRebel gunman Ahmed, 23, of Tripoli, claims to have made a significant breakthrough in identifying the cause of a series of mysterious deaths caused by people being hit in the top of the head by bullets falling from the sky.

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Gulf states order Blackberry users to cover their phones in a tiny burqa

no more of that naughty spam eitherNew laws in Saudi Arabia and the United Arab Emirates will require that every Blackberry user dress their phone a miniature burqa and face veil.

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