‘We have lost valued, albeit treacherous, colleagues,’ said David Cameron. ‘But I think we should avoid jumping to conclusions about how these unrelated and entirely accidental deaths occurred.’
Claims of cyber-war between Russia and its former territory in the Baltic have been cooked up by the two countries to make the rest of the world think they have any computers, it has emerged.
One ‘almighty bash’ planned to last until 2015.
‘It had been hibernating for years but we managed to tempt it out with a small bottle of Krug and a free trip to the Eurovision Song Contest.’
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Superhero was ‘visibly exhausted’