Alternative therapist sacks Red Indian spirit guide for being useless
‘Obviously, I was delighted to know I had a genuine Native American guiding my soul through this life, but to be honest, he did look a bit twee and kitsch’
Middle East Conflict resolved by a group hug
‘It’s all so silly really when you think about it. It’s only religion, history and land; what’s to fall out about?’
Stations of the Cross closed – replacement buses brought in
Stations 6 and 7 of the Cross, currently closed for refurbishment, will not be ready for use this Easter due to unforeseen problems with sub-contractors.
Schoolboy poised for historic walk to school attempt
Eight-year-old Nigel Williams from Maidenhead will tomorrow step into his family’s history books when for the first time he will attempt to walk alone along the three hundred-metre route from his home to school.
‘Birthers’ conflicted after Obama’s birth certificate proves he is son of God
Republican conspiracy theorists have reported bewilderment today after their persistent claims for documentary evidence of the President’s place of birth were answered by a birth certificate confirming that Barack Obama was born neither in Hawaii or Kenya, but in a stable in Bethlehem.
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