NewsBiscuit

The news before it happens…

No hard feelings, says PM as third Tory rebel dies in mysterious circumstances

off to get a sinister pair of glasses in the morning‘We have lost valued, albeit treacherous, colleagues,’ said David Cameron. ‘But I think we should avoid jumping to conclusions about how these unrelated and entirely accidental deaths occurred.’

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Russia and Estonia ‘pretending to have computers’

Claims of cyber-war between Russia and its former territory in the Baltic have been cooked up by the two countries to make the rest of the world think they have any computers, it has emerged.

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Spiderman captured in giant bath tub

Superhero was ‘visibly exhausted’

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Cameron to celebrate victory with Bullingdon-style trashing of UK

it's only moneyOne ‘almighty bash’ planned to last until 2015.

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WWF adds Crooning Lounge Lizard to endangered species list

love required several times a night, if they're luuucky enough‘It had been hibernating for years but we managed to tempt it out with a small bottle of Krug and a free trip to the Eurovision Song Contest.’

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