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‘Walking with humans’ now number one thing-to-do-before-you-die for dolphins

next item: don't get caught in tuna netThe practice has been hailed as one of the most therapeutic and life-affirming experiences the world can offer a sea mammal

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David Cameron ‘may not have been beaten up enough at school’, warn experts

'Eat fist, oik!'‘Cameron’s blend of smug self-assurance and empty rhetoric can only be a result of his being under-bullied as a child.’

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Celebrities ‘too scared to die’ in wake of Savile scandal

the show must go onFollowing the controversy, many famous people are avoiding death like the plague.

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Spain snaps-up disused ‘Go Home Vans’ to rid Costa Del Sol of ‘annoying English’

Nobody expected the Spanish exposition ‘They’re just really rubbish tourists; they can’t even tan properly.’

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Scare Flu spreads from tabloids to the broadsheets

probably caught it from contact with the tabloids The lethal infection may cause mass panic on a scale not seen since a Scottish swan was supposed to have died from Bird Flu.

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