‘It was my own fault’, David Jackson said. ‘I knew I only had two hours, but I lost track of time. The traffic warden was only doing his job, and I have only myself to blame’.
With all the pellucidity of mud, the Government has asked the British public about changes to their Health Service through a process of whispers, winks and carrier pigeon. Not wanting to draw attention to anything alarming, the Secretary of State (Jeremy Hunt) has sensitively chosen not to advertise the consultation for fear of ‘over-shadowing the John Lewis Xmas campaign’.
Desmond, Tegan and Wendy are among the future storm names affecting the UK and Ireland chosen by members of the public to be replaced as Abigail and Barney were largely ignored.
A pigeon trained to spot rogue cells in breast cancer patients, narrowly escaped death after falling asleep in mid-air at Earls Court tube station following a 19 hour shift, during which it didn’t have time for a lunch or toilet break.
EU officials have tightened up border security by ensuring that border officials confirm the face on offered passports roughly match the face of the person offering the document. Previously it was sufficient for the person entering the EU to be ‘of a similar gender’.