‘I dread to think where I’d be today if he hadn’t spent my formative years deadheading verbenas and repotting bromeliads in granny’s greenhouse,’ said the ginger-fingered hybrid.
In a newly-discovered note to James Callaghan, from 1976 the Prince of Wales: ‘Dear Jim, Please can you fix it for me that mummy abdicates before bloody Halley’s comet comes around again. Sincerely, Charles, age 28.’
A new measure, enshrined in law, could bring to an end centuries of lunacy, when businesses were forced to tell customers ‘Please don’t hesitate’ to contact them with any queries.
A three-day stand-off between police and Ed Miliband’s pledge stone, which had been holed up in a South-East London warehouse since Friday, has ended when the stone gave itself up.
After bowing to legal pressure, Father Christmas has decided to release all of the letters he has ever received from Prince Charles.