Shocked and dismayed by the cost of the Jimmy Savile scandal, the BBC is looking into ways to make outraging the public more economically viable. "What we're really trying to achieve is more small-scale scandals that are cheaper and more easy to deal with rather than huge scandals that make for compelling viewing but are massively costly," said Head of Contrition Jane Surmise. "That's not to say that we will eradicate scandal altogether. It's an important part of our output and the license payer is learning to expect and enjoy regular tales of BBC mismanagement, corruption, greed, incompetence and abuse."
A feasibility study into "monetising" scandal is now under way. This is aimed at making a large scale scandal profitable. The study, with a budget of £2 million, is looking into commercialising the Savile scandal by turning it into a Hollywood-scale film for global sale.
"What we're looking at is a deeply serious movie about a massive event in the British psyche that involves questioning and morals, public accountability and that little bit of transgressive sex and sleaze that we know shifts popcorn worldwide....and a great soundtrack of 70's and 80's music." said BBC Head and Shoulders of peculiarity Mark Smidders. "Think Boogie Nights meets Points of View. We've approached a number of Hollywood stars famous for creepy roles to play the part, and with the right casting and co-production, and a star director, we see the Jimmy scandal movie turning a profit of over £20 million by the end of 2015 with a worldwide cinema release."
Not only could large scale scandal finance itself it could even help pay off the huge sums given to departing executives like George Entwistle blower. Media analysts are predicting that BBC scandal will become a staple of the schedules replacing worn out themes like reality and cookery tv. It's understood that BBC executives tried to persuade Charles Saatchi to appear to put his hands round his wife Nigella Lawson's neck on BBC premises, but a deal could not be reached with either party.