Mountaineer Ken Wardle has complained about double standards after he was publicly vilified for mounting his secretary.
“It’s not fair. Last year I climbed K2, “because it was there”, and everybody bought me a pint. I do the same thing with Shirley, and apparently it’s adultery or something. What’s their problem?”
Vladimir Putin is thought to have used the “Mountaineer’s Defence” in relation to Crimea, while footballer and legendary shagger John Terry has recently been admitted to the Mountaineers’ Hall of Fame for “services to mounting things which are there”.
John Prescot was unavailable for comment.