After years of walking his dog in the woods first thing in the morning an old man has finally found a corpse. The old man told people ‘I’ve been walking my dog through the woods every morning since I retired 15 years ago and unusually have never once found a body, and then this morning it happened. It was textbook, my black Labrador ran ahead and I couldn’t find him at first, but then I saw him sniffing around a pile of leaves and then saw a hand poking out and realised it was the body of an old woman. I phoned the Police straight away and waited for them to arrive and put a tent around the body before a haggard looking world-weary cop turned up to take over and wind-up the forensics team’.
A Chief Superintendent from the Police said ‘we thank the old man for contacting us but we will not be talking to him from now on and even though he discovered the body he is not a suspect and you won’t be seeing him again’.
The 'Chief Super' continued ‘at the moment we have no idea who the dead woman is but assume that the discovery of the body will be the start of a long and complex investigation and that the motive for the murder will have its roots in something that happened decades ago, possibly in a children’s home. We would ask anyone who may know the dead person to come forward so that we may suspect them of not giving us the full story before offloading in an emotional denouement at which point we will probably agree that the dead woman had it coming. For now I’ve passed the investigation over to a shambolic divorced middle-aged functioning alcoholic who deals with this sort of thing every week’.