Eating now a resigning thing

Lawyers specialising in covid-19 restrictions have confirmed that the intention to eat, or the actual activity of eating during lockdown should be an indictable offence, and persons in authority who ate during lockdown should consider their positions 'while resigning on the spot'.

'The fact that some people sought to survive at the end of a working day while most of the country was forced to eat on Zoom is demeaning to the NHS, and whoever else was involved in covid,' said a lawyer today.

'I mean, curry? Really? And beer, what was the man thinking of? He could easily have retired to his hotel room hungry and thirsty, but no, he had to have something to eat. He didn't even have the decency to bring his own bottle, a karaoke machine, or pour drinks for everyone. Leading the conga would have been reasonable, but eating?'

The lawyer stated that his intention to represent the Conservatives as a candidate at the next election has had no influence upon his legal evaluation.

Image from Pixabay by wal_172619

https://pixabay.com/photos/panda-bamboo-bear-mammal-china-4421395/

Starmer & Johnson forced to resign over ‘sh$t parties’

Durham Police explained: ‘Technically they both broke a law, that no one wanted, other than themselves, but that is not why we are charging them. Guests at both have now attested to how mind-numbingly awful both events were. Warm beer, cold chips and not a bouncy castle in sight’.

A spokesperson for Number 10 said: ‘At least our party had a clown at it’.

Guardian: Saint Keir of Holburn and St Pancras