Being judged by the company we keep

Prime Minister could have survived if his trousers hadn't fallen down

While attempting to land another flimsy zinger instead of answering questions in the House of Commons last Wednesday, the Prime Minister's pantaloons collapsed. Highly respected political analysts suggested it was all part of the old BoJo the Clown routine. But a junior minister confirmed that he'd recently had a quick release mechanism installed.

A Downing Street spokesman still being paid to defend the indefensible said, 'The Prime Minister has certainly not had the Insta-Debag 3000 system installed at great taxpayer expense. And he most definitely is not an absent-minded scruffball who'd forgotten to take his belt out of the dressing up box before PMQs. He was deliberately mooning a disloyal party colleague while at the dispatch box.'

Or, as one backbencher put it, 'That's one way to crack the whip.'

image from pixabay

Skirt length linked to DLT risk

Scientists are convinced that ‘Unwelcome Dave Lee Travis Syndrome’ is also caused by chest size, gender and being in the vicinity of a big hairy octopus. An attack of the DLTs can come at any time; with most women are being advised to stay locked in a darkened room, avoiding any career in the Media industry.

Women have been warned that simply turning up to work can provoke an assault by a host of personalities from the BBC’s Light Entertainment division. One retired male TV presenter explained: ‘Look, if they didn’t want to be touched, why get a job? Why do they wear those…what d’ya call them? Those thingymajigs…clothes! Yes, that’s it - clothes. All sexy like. They’re a tease – a tease I tell you!’

https://pixabay.com/photos/people-girl-woman-sandals-heels-2560869