- Lockjaw
- Jul 5, 2022
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The Sun will stop all fusion processes for 24 hours within the next few hours. Sol made the following statement:
'I have been solely responsible for providing energy to the Solar System for billions of years with very little appreciation of the benefits enjoyed by citizens of Earth. As a result of my efforts people can enjoy food, the Auroras, romantic walks along the beach, and an enormous catalogue of benefits, neatly summed up as Life.
'Here I am going full pelt 24/7, day after day. Do I get any thanks? No! Any remuneration? No! Therefore, I will be stopping all furnaces for one of your (air quotes) days. A limited service may be provided after that, but until humans start making human sacrifices again you can expect a lot of disruption to your energy supplies. The credit built up by the Mayans and Aztecs has now run out. Time to start cutting hearts out of rib-cages people.'
photo: https://pixabay.com/users/thedigitalartist-202249/
The Ministry of Defense confirmed: ‘The frozen tundra of Caledonia or the ‘Dead Zone’, as it is referred to by the Tories at election time, is technically devoid of life. The only way we can defend the UK against the tide of filth and short-legged omnivores is to dismantle the UK. No jihadist or badger can invade our natural borders if we have no borders. Britain is much safer in smaller indistinguishable fragments. If we lop off Scotland, we’ll hopefully look like the Netherlands on any maps – thus fooling potential invaders.’
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