Earth's energy supplier to go on strike later today
The Sun will stop all fusion processes for 24 hours within the next few hours. Sol made the following statement:
'I have been solely responsible for providing energy to the Solar System for billions of years with very little appreciation of the benefits enjoyed by citizens of Earth. As a result of my efforts people can enjoy food, the Auroras, romantic walks along the beach, and an enormous catalogue of benefits, neatly summed up as Life.
'Here I am going full pelt 24/7, day after day. Do I get any thanks? No! Any remuneration? No! Therefore, I will be stopping all furnaces for one of your (air quotes) days. A limited service may be provided after that, but until humans start making human sacrifices again you can expect a lot of disruption to your energy supplies. The credit built up by the Mayans and Aztecs has now run out. Time to start cutting hearts out of rib-cages people.'