- Chipchase
- Feb 4, 2024
A bitter row has broken out, throwing the genteel world of choral singing into a spin, with one disgruntled chorister, Tracey Armitage, claiming her choir's conductor 'does nothing of any importance during a performance. ' Further suggesting, 'conductors in general are just people dicking about in front of the singers waving their hands or a short stick around vaguely in time with the music.'
'Take our choir,' she says. 'We do the work but Ted's the one getting all the plaudits. None of us look anywhere near him, and even if we did, what purpose would it serve? It's not as if he can tune us up if the baritones are pitching a quarter-tone flat.'
However, the choir's conductor, Ted Armitage shakes his head sadly. 'I'm afraid Tracey wasn't too best pleased when I broke the news Janette Ryan will sing solo at our performance when Songs of Praise visits St. Stephen's in April,' explains the sprightly octogenarian as he polishes his baton (not a euphemism).
Meanwhile, the nation's Choirmaster General, Gareth Malone, has entered the fray. 'Conductors add an invaluable dynamic to any performance. OK, so we don't really do a lot, but the public expect a choir to have someone pratting about at the front during the performance then looking smug whilst taking the credit and applause.'
Photo by Colin Michael on Unsplash
The Chancellor has given another of his daily briefings on the contents of the March budget. After twenty or so previous briefings, journalists’ commitment, and credulity, is being tested.
Today the Chancellor laid out the enormous costs required to deliver millions of overdue NHS operations, to build more houses, to address climate change, and to get re-elected.
In view of the enormous costs attached to health, housing and climate change, the Chancellor is warning that he must make difficult decisions. The government is currently considering reducing the size of the civil service to zero, in order to save £16.6bn per year. But this is only enough money to build around 83,000 houses each year, and assumes that all the sacked civil servants find similar private sector jobs (so that there is no reduction in the income tax take and no unemployment benefit to pay). No money would be left over for the NHS, or anything else.
Having made a thorough appraisal of all the options, the Chancellor said that his current thinking is to boost the economy, growth, and exports by abolishing inheritance tax. This would be very popular with the media and should be reported very widely, on the basis that it is almost certainly true. It should not be derided as idle or unfounded speculation. The Chancellor also explained that although abolishing inheritance tax appears to favour the top 5% of earners, the trickle down effect would, over time, provide all the money needed to fix the NHS, the housing crisis and avert climate change. Probably. It was therefore a policy that all voters should support.
The Chancellor is expected to make another sad effort to get into the newspapers tomorrow, by giving yet another budget update.