Ofsted 'one word' assessment to be randomised

The school inspection body has announced that it will be continuing its one word assessment rating, but, in deference to recent criticism, this word will now be arbitrarily selected from the Oxford English Dictionary.

Inspectors will be instructed that the selected word should offer no hint of a judgemental call : so positive, or negative, descriptors will be replaced by vegetable names, cloud types, architectural features or whatever whimsy may scamper through the assessors mind at the time.

A trial run out of this policy has resulted in St. Robnolds Infants School, Penge being assessed as 'tourmaline', whilst the neighbouring Bryden Academy is now rated as 'exfoliant'.

Whilst this new policy will reduce levels of anxiety and stress within the industry and eliminate all those gaudy banners now seen hanging on school railings, it should also play merry hob with families playing the catchment area game, who will now have to rationalise between Ofsted ratings of 'ormolu','distillate' and 'plinth'.

author: FlashArry

image from pixabay

Lib Dems “forgot to produce manifesto for London Mayoral candidate”

There was embarrassment at Lib Dem headquarters today as it was revealed no one had bothered to write a manifesto for their candidate for London Mayor.

“Look, there’s only so many hours in the day,” said harassed party worker Jeremy Sandals. “There’s only enough money for a couple of full-time staff, the rest is done by volunteers, when they can fit it around their work for the Crafts Council and the Vegan Society.

”So naturally we tend to focus on things that seem worth doing. Council elections, for example, since we do win the occasional seat, and general elections of course.

”But London Mayor? The most we can do is split the liberal vote and let the Tories in, so we don’t really bother.

”All the same, we ought to go through the motions, so it’s a bit embarrassing we didn’t even write a manifesto this time. I’ll be looking into what went wrong, as soon as I get a spare moment.”

Pressed for more information, Sandals admitted he didn’t even know whose name they’d submitted as a candidate. “Bloody hell, it’s not me is it?”

image from pixabay

Humza, You's Off

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