US swimming officials have been left anything but red faced, after all their team ended up looking like Violet Beauregarde. Out of all the alchemists, only the US has managed to turn purple into gold.
Glowing with purple pride, their winning swimmers insisted that there was nothing illicit going on and they were not sponsored by Ribena. Chuckled one Olympic official: 'It would be a bit ironic to create an undetectable drug, only to discover it had one very obvious side effect.'
Maybe it is an allergic reaction to water or a novel litmus test, either way the US have overcome adversity for a massive medal haul. 'We wear our heart on our sleeve and our purple heart on our face.'
Updated: Aug 9, 2024
There's a hole in my budget dear Keir, dear Keir,
There's a hole in my budget dear Keir, a hole.
Then mend it, dear Rachel, dear Rachel, dear Rachel,
Then mend it, dear Rachel, dear Rachel, mend it.
With what shall I mend it, dear Keir, dear Keir?
With what shall I mend it, dear Keir, with what?
With taxation, dear Rachel, dear Rachel, dear Rachel,
With taxation, dear Rachel, dear Rachel, taxation.
There's nothing left to tax, dear Keir, dear Keir,
There's nothing left to tax, dear Keir, nothing left.
Then grow the economy, dear Rachel, dear Rachel, dear Rachel,
Then grow the economy, dear Rachel, dear Rachel, grow the economy.
With what shall I grow the economy, dear Keir, dear Keir?
With what shall I grow the economy, dear Keir, with what?
With infrastructure spending, dear Rachel, dear Rachel, dear Rachel,
With infrastructure spending, dear Rachel, dear Rachel, infrastructure spending.
Spending needs money, dear Keir, dear Keir,
Spending needs money, dear Keir, needs money.
Then budget for it, dear Rachel, dear Rachel, dear Rachel,
Then budget for it, dear Rachel, dear Rachel, budget for it.
But there's a hole in my budget dear Keir, dear Keir,
There's a hole in my budget dear Keir, a hole