As the race to become the next Village Idiot of Upper Stoke Amberley enters its final week seasoned Idiot watchers are saying this could be the closest contest yet, with both candidates delivering a series of brilliantly asinine speeches and presenting their supporters with muppetry of the highest order.
At the beginning of this two ass race it seemed foolhardy to bet against Don Toupee, a simpleton whose manifesto promise was to drive out non-native, invasive plant life from the village. The confidence in his success was due in part to his then opponent, the current Idiot, J B Dribbling, having his idiocy seriously questioned over time. The tipping point was a debate where he made a serious of rambling statements, some of which bordered on the sensible, and that disqualified him from the contest.
His replacement was the Deputy Idiot, Kamalana Ding-Dong, a lady chucklehead intent on proving women can reach levels of foolery to rival any man. Her claims of growing edible words at the bottom of her garden gave her an instant poll boost, and the bookmakers slashed her odds. Her inane public prattling since seems to have backed up that confidence in her chances.
Whichever loon the good people of Upper Stoke Amberley vote into the Odd Shaped Office, the contest gives the residents a good chuckle or three. As one villager put it, “Been a good one this time round. Two absolute numpties. Haven’t laughed so much in ages. It’s a shame our political elections aren’t like this.”
