I Know, I Need To Stop Talking (Oct 2024): In which I walk a marathon (did I mention I walked a marathon?!), and talk about it A LOT; Mr IKINTST defies medical science; we rue the demise of flashers; I share one of my many embarrassing drama school memories; and Mr IKINTST is thwarted by a space hopper.
Taxi drivers up and down the land have become outraged by the influx of foreign PPE, preventing good, honest Brits from developing the Coronavirus. Truckloads of gowns have been sneaking over the Scottish border, disguised as kilts. Complained one driver: ‘It’s outrageous all these cheap surgical masks coming over here, just to get their rubber gloves on our women.’
Four hundred thousand gowns were expected to arrive from Turkey, all pretending to be political refugees. A Health Minister advised: ‘Just because we stopped making gowns doesn’t mean we want foreign-smelling gowns in our operating theatres. If NHS staff want to protect themselves from the virus, all they need to do is drape themselves in a Union Jack flag. Technically it won’t stop them dying but it will make their funeral more patriotic looking.’
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The Labour Government has laid out plans to take Hornby Trains into public ownership as part of its overall renationalisation strategy.
A Downing Street spokesman said space had been made in the Number 10 attic where they could begin running freight and passenger services over different lines. “The timetable will be flexible to suit our work breaks and there will be minimal maintenance required. Plus the big advantage here over mainline rail companies is we won’t have ASLEF on our backs every five minutes.”
Asked how and when the Hornby acquisition might be made they told us it was already on Labour’s Christmas list to Lord Alli.
Image; anaterate - Pixabay
