The Weigh-In was Uncharacteristically Friendly for a Deathmatch.

Winner: Martyn Casserly

Runners-Up:

"Members of the Gingerbread Man Liberation Front make plans before the Boxing Day Hunt." (Lockjaw);

"The twins were delighted with their matching festive Judas Priest Christmas t-shirts." (Midfield Diamond)

Braverman and Jenrick go Undercover in Calais.

Winner: Dick Everyman

Runners-Up:

"Hey! Come sit with us. Here, have a drink. You know what, I bet you have a really pretty kidney." (SimonJJames)

Half way through the first bottle and Liz had already gone blurry. (Flash Arry)

Climate Protester Regrets Keeping her Superglue in Same Bag as her Lipstick.

Winner: Mother

Runners-Up:

"Woman Partially Blinded as Eskimo Kiss Competition Goes Wrong." (AyesWideOpen);

"Annoyingly, Alison never let Dave finish his own spaghetti." (DickEveryman).