Exasperated Corinthians receive yet another letter from St Paul

News from Corinthia today as adminstrators for the region check the post and discover yet another missive from St Paul.

"Oh my God, it's another one", said Anastosios Papas as he flipped through the various correspondence, "I can't believe this, he must send one a week. First it was all 'Love they neighbour' and 'worship our God freely' and all that good stuff. You know, that's fine we're a good fearing people. But now it's all, 'have you seen Taylor Swift is getting married?' and 'apparently red wine ISN'T good for you after all! I mean, I like the guy, but 200 years worth of letters is a bit much."

We tried to reach out to St Paul but he was busy writing a letter to the Ephesians to tell then that the Galatians still have their strimmer and are not looking like they are giving it back.

image from pixabay

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Israel claims Palestine was playing tinny music from its phone

The all-out annihilation of Palestine - ideally accompanied by the death of all Palestinians - can now proceed with an active chorus of international approval, after the Israeli government claimed that Palestine was listening to tinny versions of Ibiza anthems from its phone speaker whilst on the bus.

One Netanyahu apologist added, 'Asking them to put headphones on is only giving the terrorists what they want. The only logical response to this moderately rude behaviour is the total destruction of Gaza, the annexation of the West Bank and the killing of every Palestinian man woman and child.

'Now that we've made up this obvious lie, we can really accelerate the slaughtering. Hooray! From the river, to the sea, from tinny tunes, we shall be free.'

Image credit: perchance.org

FBI now says Isle of Wight never existed

After an exhaustive investigation into cub scout trafficking, the FBI have concluded that no one of influence - or sound mind - ever visited the island. The supposed list of 'clients' who had visited the island was sunk on board the Portsmouth ferry and all tickets to Blackgang Chime were destroyed.

Furthermore the island no longer appears on any maps and has been replaced by the phrase 'here be dinosaurs'. The FBI confirmed 'IOW is not a sex island - not unless you count caravan parks. Nothing illegal ever happened here, in fact, since 1972, nothing ever happened here.'

Image: Matchbox-Marketing - Pixabay

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