Comedy news from NewsBiscuit – the Xmas Episode
Available on Amazon, iTunes, YouTube, etc.
Host: Wrenfoe. Featuring Guests: Paul L, Flash Arry, Mrs Wrenfoe & Oshaughnessy
December 2021
https://anchor.fm/newsbiscuit/episodes/Newsbiscuit-Xmas-Podcast-2021-e1bttps
NewsBiscuit Xmas Podcast 2021 - YouTube
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Our books:
We’ve leaned on the publishers to ensure the print versions of ‘Five Go Dobbing In the Neighbours’ are ready for release in time for ordering and receiving in time for Christmas, in case any of you are looking for the perfect gift for a loved one, the best Secret Santa anyone could wish for or you just need something to help you reach the top shelf, this is the book for you.
At over 500 pages, and available in hardback and softback versions complete with over 800 subs and 24 pages of one-line gags, the NewsBiscuit annual is the book everyone will want to keep in the smallest room of the house.
With contributions from just under 100 NewsBiscuit authors the book chronicles twelve months of NewsBiscuit fun and satire. Five Go Dobbing is likely to be the Cabbage Patch kid of comedy books this year. Hardback versions are printed in the EU – remember them? – and can take up to a week to arrive even with Amazon Prime so don’t leave ordering your copies until the last minute.
Unfortunately due to a technical issue Amazon are listing the hardcover version as not available at the time of posting this notice. Apparently it an issue affecting recently published hardcover titles in the UK. It can be ordered from the French, German, Spanish and Italian Amazon sites now if that's where you prefer to buy from, but until Amazon resolve this issue we can only buy the paperback version or wait. Technically we could order from one of the European sites (the UK doesn't seem to have hardcover printing capability within Amazon at the moment so when you do order it will come from one of the EU publishing centres anyway) but we're not sure how that will affect shipping costs, especially for Prime members.
We will advise on the main site and in te Chat room when we are aware of a change in status on this issue
Updated: Nov 28, 2021
It’s another of those handy Newsbiscuit guides.
Kim Jong Un
He has an ism. Not many World Leaders have an ism. That’s very special to have an ism bestowed upon oneself, even if it has been bestowed by oneself. Now Kimjongunism can be added to narcissism, feudalism, and totalitarianism.
Education
Life is a full-time education, beginning early in the morning with daily worship before an oversized photo of the Great Leader. Candles optional but they are a nice touch. Kimjongunism is the only lesson. History? There is none. Geography? There is nothingness outside North Korea. Maths? Only if you count the infinite blessings bestowed upon you. Forget them, you are the only subjects that matter. Adhere to His teachings and you won’t get detention, or, as it’s more commonly known, summary execution.
Provider
Under the generous benevolence of this great philanthropist, you will lack for nothing. A roof over your head, albeit with eaves dropping, clothes on your back, of uniform size, and food on your table. There is no grain of truth in rumours of food shortages. Just eat your shoe leather and stop belly-aching.
Prowess
Nobody can surpass the sporting achievements of The Great Leader. A winner of every sporting competition ever held in North Korea. A man who can shoot a bow fifty metres at a moving target pinned to the back of a dissident, whilst riding bareback and signing death warrants for his nearest and dearest. Also, World Keepie-Uppie Champion, and we’re not talking football, Ladies.
Deference
Bow down before the one and only Great Leader. Ignore any who have gone before claiming that title. Remove their photos, paintings and statues. Revere only one man now. Talking about my veneration. With Kim Jong Un you can taste the deference.
Image: WaltiGoehner | Pixabay
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