Explaining the new ruling, a health spokesperson said: 'I know we said you needed them and technically syphilis is still a thing, but we need to protect your freedom to experience unwanted pregnancy. Besides, men look like an idiot with one on. How is your penis expected to breathe?. And the PM has been leading on this for years'.
First published 30 Jan 2022
If you enjoyed this archive item, why not buy thousands of archive stories found in our eBooks, paperbacks and hardbacks?
 |  |  |  |
There have been calls from the Conservative back benches for an enquiry into why it the Met so long to initiate an investigation into the long delay in anyone calling for a report into the reasons why Her Majesty's Opposition have been so slow in demanding a Civil-Service-led enquiry into the hesitation by the police to investigate the long hold-up in the publication of the result of a study by any official of the reasons why any investigation of the appropriateness of appointing Sue Gray as the civil servant to carry out her eponymous report was a legitimate course of action by the prime minister.
There has been no confirmation of reports that attendees of a series of strictly-business-only Downing St. meeting to discuss the progress of investigations into these delays played dance music, wore paper hats and were served alcoholic drinks, things-on-cocktail-sticks, sausage rolls, biscuits and even - wait for it - celebratory cake.
First published 29 Jan 2022
If you enjoyed this archive item, why not buy thousands of archive stories found in our eBooks, paperbacks and hardbacks?
| | | |
Does your behaviour contradict your avowed beliefs?
Perhaps you are a PM who declares he believes in integrity but delays taking action to enforce it.
Maybe you are millionaire who became an MP "to serve the people", but are just helping out yourself and your chums. You may have been in charge of the Exchequer but were unable to monitor your own tax affairs. Are some of your actions described as "careless" rather than deliberate?
Despite all available information indicating that you have been economical with the actualité, you have the brass neck to stay in your post? Do you have no shame? Does it appear that honour and principle are concepts outside your moral compass. Welcome to the Conservative Party.
First published 28 Jan 2023
If you enjoyed this archive item, why not buy thousands of archive stories found in our eBooks, paperbacks and hardbacks?
| | | |
