top of page
Search

Fury at BMW on empty motorway




A picture of a car 'hogging' the motorway middle lane at 5am has kicked off a row online. The picture shows a car in the middle lane on the M5 seemingly completely alone, with no other vehicles anywhere to be seen.


Frustrated by the white BMW driver, thousands have taken to Twitter to complain, raging that drivers should keep to the left and speculating that maybe the driver was a drug dealer or up to “no good”.


One enraged Twitter user “Furiosa27” said, 'it’s just like Mad Max out there, how the hell can he afford the petrol for that thing, he must be selling drugs, or organs or something.'


'I bet he’s a right c@nt - he’s hogging the whole motorway - bloody Beamer drivers,' said @rokatansky49.


'He hasn’t even used his winkers once when changing lane,' said @auntieentity39.


First published 27 June 2022



If you enjoyed this archive item, why not buy thousands of archive stories found in our eBooks, paperbacks and hardbacks?














Putin survives Special Military Election



Vlad the Bad had welcomed the challenge from Jevgenij the Cook-Monster. “Nobody trusts the regular elections in this country, it’s only when you survive a coup de etat that you can actually tell you’re a really popular guy.” International election monitors sent glowing reports during last week’s election, saying that unlike the 2018 Russian elections, this time both the government and the opposition sides had guns, tanks, and thousands of armed thugs. Additionally, both sides were able to freely publish porkies on the internet. “This was the most free and fair election in Russia since 1993, the last time tanks rolled into Moscow - I love watching democracy at work!”


Author: Dogular



First published 26 June 2023



If you enjoyed this archive item, why not buy thousands of archive stories found in our eBooks, paperbacks and hardbacks?















Kate Bush invests in a Fitbit to track runs up roads, hills



Kate Bush has bought an activity tracker to monitor all the running she is doing, it has emerged.


The news comes after the singer admitted she was finding it increasingly hard to keep on top of the miles she was accumulating running up that road and running up that hill.


Exact figures are unknown, but estimates suggest that the 70s songstress may have racked up over a million miles since 1985, including some tough vertical running up that building.


‘Do you want to know how it feels? Know that it doesn’t hurt me, ye-yeah, yeh ho’, said Bush in a rare comment today.


Bush is thought to have secured a good deal on the Fitbit at her local Argos ‘by making a deal with God’, thought to mean that she has taken out the extended warranty on the product for an extra three years.


Asked whether she would be continuing her running, Bush said ‘why not? Stranger Things have happened’.



First published 25 June 2022



If you enjoyed this archive item, why not buy thousands of archive stories found in our eBooks, paperbacks and hardbacks?














bottom of page