Bored with marathons? Fed up with wild swimming? The latest fad for the cognitively impaired but physically fit is Wild White Goods – carrying fridge freezers up mountains, swimming across lakes towing a tumble dryer or just hiking with a Zanussi washing machine.
'I love being out in nature, challenging myself' says Helen (58). 'Anyone can climb a mountain – why not make it interesting?'
Farmers have criticised the movement. Well they would, wouldn’t they? They act like they own the countryside.
Helen again: 'They’re always saying stuff like "you can’t bring that dishwasher here", and "you’re a bloody nutter, what kind of idiot takes a gas hob up Helvellyn?". It’s so frustrating. I listen to The Archers, I count myself an ally. Okay, I’m a vegetarian and I sometimes set the sheep free, but I’ve always done that. If anything, carrying a 50 litre fridge freezer around has slowed me down. They should be pleased'.
There are some positives. Several wild swimmers have mysteriously vanished whilst towing heavy white goods. Something to do with physics, apparently. Rescue services have promised to go out and look for them 'in a week or so, just as soon as we've shifted these items on eBay'.
Image: Wix AI
