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Bypassing the Strait of Hormuz


The United Arab Emirates have offered to build a canal to bypass the Strait of Hormuz, and thus piss-off the Iranian regime big time.  It will only cost a few £mega-squillion and will be cheaper, as well as easer & quicker to build than Britain's HS2 and could actually get completed and do something useful.  No bats are likely to be harmed in the building of the canal.


It's a toss-up whether the best source of funding would be crowd funding, Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk or a sweepstake on how many Supreme Leaders Iran is likely to get through before they run out of Ayatollahs or America runs of of shells, drones and missiles.  International oil companies might even, eventually become slightly interested.




Trump says "we'll see" about invading Sudetenland


"A lot of people have been saying to me: 'Sir, Sir. Why don't you drive tanks into Sudentenland and annex it?'" President Trump told a column of White House press korps panzers.


"I don't know where they got that idea from, but we'll see.


"They're saying: 'Sir, you could bomb it and then Jared could build condos on the land and sell them for a billion dollars. It'll be money in your pocket.


"Well, I don't start wars just for money - except when the price is right.


"But if a billion dollars is what it takes to get me to liberate Sudetenland with world class Tomahawk missile strikes and state of the art country clubs, then I'll look at it - right after the anschluss between Mar-A-Lago and Austria.


"Maybe I won't invade Sudetenland and raze it to the ground,l after all," added Trump magnanimously, playfully balancing an inflatable globe on a fingertip.


"We'll wait and see what happens to those untermenschen."




Pete Hegseth explains hair superiority


Pete Hegseth, the US Secretary of War, has explained the importance of hair superiority.


He revealed details about his hair care regime in an interview with MAGA Mums magazine

He explained that the US approach is one of hair superiority.  He is quoted as saying that, ‘If you have substantial and powerful hair, then enemies will cower before you.  Especially enemies that are shy about their hair, and feel the need to wrap it up in towels, or conceal it under hats.’

Hegseth said that he had tried many different hairstyles, but had decided that the most commanding and powerful style is the slicked back and greasy look.  He is believed to have said that ‘Don’t-care hair works for me.  It says that I’m too busy with war plans to wash my hair.  My practical low-maintenance hairstyle, augmented with expensive hair product, tells America’s enemies that I’m one-hundred-percent focused on their destruction.  My big American hair will dominate your embarrassing and feeble infidel hair.’


Insiders say that the line about expensive hair product is not true, and that the War Secretary slicks back his hair with lard. This is because it’s readily available, economical, and makes his hair smell of bacon. The faint aroma of which helps to keep certain religiously motivated terrorists at a safe distance.

Hegseth wound up his interview by recounting the hair case advice he received, unsolicited (naturally), from Donald Trump. ‘The President recommended dyeing and blow-drying, but that wasn’t for me. And he recommended fake tan, too. The blonde hair and orange skin looks great on Trump, but that look doesn’t work for me. I’ve thought it all through. Blonde is too frivolous for a War Secretary.  I’m Dorian Grey.  I’m a grey area.  I’m the good and the grey.  Shiny and grey is the way to go.  Let’s make America grey again.’




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