Wes Anderson “releasing same movie every time”

It was admitted today, even by his most ardent fans, that Wes Anderson has been rereleasing the same movie over and over again for his whole career.

“It started as a genuine mistake with my second movie, Rushmore. Somehow the studio accidentally sent out a print of Bottle Rocket, a movie I’d made a couple of years before. I was bracing myself for complaints, but in fact all the reviews were very positive, commenting on the visual style which they said was fast becoming a Wes Anderson trademark.

“It got me wondering how far I could push this, so a few years later I released it again as The Royal Tenenbaums. Again, raves across the board, especially for my ‘distinctive visual aesthetic’. I mean, didn’t anyone notice the actors and the script were exactly the same?

“What really makes me laugh is when they talk about how more and more famous actors appear in my movies these days, even in tiny roles, which they think shows how everyone wants to work with me. They’re the same damn actors! They just weren’t famous in the 90s when I started out.”

Critic and long time Wes Anderson groupie Mark Kermit wasn’t at all embarrassed by the revelation, saying if anything it made him feel better about having written the same gushing review every time.

image from pixabay

Reform-led Councils Now Pay Pensions in Farage Bucks

Following the announcement that Reform-led councils will block staff from joining the Local Government Pension Scheme, Deputy Leader of the party Richard Tice has told current members of the plans they will now be paid in a new digital currency called Farage Bucks.

"It's very simple," The MP for Boston and Skegness said from his home in Dubai. "Nigel's a bit of a whizz in the world of Crypto, so we've taken the council pension pots and transferred them all into a memecoin based on his image and popularity, much like President Trump. So long as he stays in the media's eye with positive stories, pensioners will keep getting paid and the value of their pots will grow much more than through traditional investments like the stock market."

In Durham, one of the ten councils now under Reform UK's control, retired council employees had mixed opinions about the new payment arrangements. "I think it's wonderful," said one person at the local working men's club. "I've even taken the contents of my ISA and put it into my pension pot, as having a million Farage Bucks means you get a framed picture of the man himself signed by one of his assistants."

Another was slightly more suspicious, "It's a bit cheeky that I have to use an exchange in the UAE owned by Isabel Oakeshott to turn my Farage Bucks into Sterling," he said. "The fact it automatically includes a 1% donation to Reform on every transaction is also a bit of an eyebrow raiser. But what else can you expect from old frog-face? Some of us have already started calling his money Baron Greenbacks."

image from pixabay

www.newsbiscuit.com

Government to Trial "Smart Flight Paths"

The UK's flight paths - many of which were decided 70 years ago - will be re-designed for modern aircraft and flying habits through the introduction of technologies successfully proven on the UK's Smart Motorway Network, the government has revealed.

Speaking at Heathrow Airport this morning, the Aviation Minister showed how a revamp would improve travel in busy areas such as around London, telling us, "Using drones, we'll create airborne gantries that control the approach speed and volume of aircraft in an area. During busy times, this means we can increase the number of landing slots with no detriment or risk to anyone. Just look at the M1 or M25 in rush-hour and you can see how well and safely this idea works."

The Civil Aviation Authority has agreed to the idea, providing they are given funding for a fleet of aeroplanes to put out airborne cones in the event of a breakdown, or simply because they feel like it.

image from pixabay

www.newsbiscuit.com