Boris Johnson to stand for 1922 Committee executive

Immediately after announcing his resignation as leader of the Conservative Party, Boris Johnson said he would stand in next week’s elections for the 1922 Committee executive.

'As I am, errr…that is to say…no longer leader of the party, I am, ipso facto, not a senior Tory and urgo I am duly eligible to join the 1922 Committee and stand for its executive. QED!'

Had Johnson not resigned, it was widely expected that the new executive would have changed its rules so backbenchers did not need to wait a year between launching no confidence votes in the leader.

In an unexpected twist, Johnson has now come out in favour of changing the rules and is making this a key strand of his campaign.

He said the rules should clearly state that if the party leader resigns but stays on as Prime Minister. 'Out of the goodness of my...I mean their…heart to ensure stability over the summer, then the post of Prime Minister must be inferred on them for my…I mean their…lifetime.'

He added that anybody called Gove should be barred for any leadership bid and should be given the title of "oily, little snake-like traitor".

'I completely see the need to change these rules, he said. 'It is crucial to the survival of my career…I mean democracy within the party.'

Jacob Rees-Mogg described the proposals as “eminently sensible” and offered his resignation from the Cabinet in support.

story: stanleym

Royal Mail to charge Graham Brady per letter delivered

In a pre-emptive move, Royal Mail has announced that it will be charging on a 'per letter' basis for delivery of post to the address of Graham Brady, chair of the Conservative 1922 Committee for the next few days.

'We have suffered some tough economic conditions over recent months,' said a spokesperson for the Royal Mail, 'and this is just too good an opportunity to miss. We are expecting a big rise in post to Mr Brady over the next couple of days, and we could turn the fortunes our company round by moving to a simple piece rate charging system.

'We need to cover our costs too,' continued the spokesperson. 'We lost 2 posties to chronic back pain back in April, after having to deliver sack loads of no confidence letters to the PM to Sir Graham.

'This time round, we're investing a couple of big ship container crates to hold all the likely letters, and we'll schedule for twice-daily deliveries to try and keep on top of things.' continued the source.

In a goodwill gesture, the Royal Mail has offered a 50% discount to the PM himself for forwarding of his mail from Number 10 to to any new address he might happen to move to over the coming months.

photo: https://pixabay.com/users/no-longer-here-19203/

Testing the air