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Following the successful completion of a previously lost section to Rembrandt's 'Night Watch', where the computer has added images of a man standing, a boy running and a drunken painter mooning, the technology has been deployed to help GCSE students in Art get a decent grade.

'The economy is highly dependent on young adults being able to crayon effectively, particularly between the lines, and this software will help them do just that,' said an AI expert today. Brandon Hedges, 16, is notably enthusiastic when actually awake. 'I couldn't get a decent grade in art thanks to lockdown,' he insisted, although his art teacher Mr Marples disagrees. 'Hedges is a lazy bastard who can't hold a crayon the right way up, but at least the software saves me from predicting a bare pass for the useless prat,' he said between supping pints of stout in the staff room. 'I'm not allowed to predict a fail, apparently. It has to be a grade. Fail is definitely a grade,' he added.

Brandon's final submission titled 'a line I drew' was originally a line in red crayon delivered diagonally across a sheet of lined A4 paper. The modified AI version shows an intricate scene where Brandon is running and his art teacher is mooning through a window. The AI creator admitted that the software does have a limited imagination. 'Just like all sixteen year old art students,' he said.







Scientists have created an artificial intelligence system that can detect brain deterioration by asking you to remember a vague detail you once used to set up your Hotmail account twenty years ago. In fact, your password itself has been auto inputted for so long you have probably forgotten that as well.


A trial at Addenbrooke's Hospital, asking 500 respondents, when was the last time they did a Windows update? Only 10% could recall the date, and 5% of them were confused Apple Mac owners.


Explained one clinician: 'Originally we used a crude metric, by asking people what day the bins go out. But we found the password recovery process bamboozles anyone over 30. Remember that memorable holiday? No, neither do we. What about your geography teacher's pet name, or can you recall your partner's favourite book? Who the hell knows or cares?'


If further proof was needed, the second stage of the password recovery involves receiving a six-digit number to a phone you no longer own. 'It's almost as if the brain struggles to remember the street where your third cousin grew up on'.

Following the successful completion of a previously lost section to Rembrandt's 'Night Watch', where the computer has added images of a man standing, a boy running and a drunken painter mooning, the technology has been deployed to help GCSE students in Art get a decent grade.

'The economy is highly dependent on young adults being able to crayon effectively, particularly between the lines, and this software will help them do just that,' said an AI expert today. Brandon Hedges, 16, is notably enthusiastic when actually awake. 'I couldn't get a decent grade in art thanks to lockdown,' he insisted, although his art teacher Mr Marples disagrees. 'Hedges is a lazy bastard who can't hold a crayon the right way up, but at least the software saves me from predicting a bare pass for the useless prat,' he said between supping pints of stout in the staff room. 'I'm not allowed to predict a fail, apparently. It has to be a grade. Fail is definitely a grade,' he added.

Brandon's final submission titled 'a line I drew' was originally a line in red crayon delivered diagonally across a sheet of lined A4 paper. The modified AI version shows an intricate scene where Brandon is running and his art teacher is mooning through a window. The AI creator admitted that the software does have a limited imagination. 'Just like all sixteen year old art students,' he said.

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