The Harry formerly known as “Prince” has found a new way to cash in on any dwindling popularity he may have left, by publishing his Amazon wish list
He invites members of the public who still believe in him to show their solidarity by buying him the tools he needs to continue his campaign.
Items include; enough rope to hang himself, and a selection of shovels in ever-increasing sizes
Thousands of shocked HMRC staff received P45s from Amazon today and have been told to clear their desks. Presumably onto a neighbouring one. A slightly less bonkers CEO of Amazon said the difficult decision was easily made in an effort to keep costs down.
He told reporters:
'HMRC is no longer fit for purpose. The new Amazon-HMRC will be much smaller and therefore more efficient. We are offering affected staff a comprehensive severance package which amounts to an oversized cardboard box to empty their personal belongings into.
'We have also updated the Amazon-HMRC logo. The arrow underneath which suggested a smile, will be a bit frownier. And that arrow, which also went from the A of Amazon to the Z, will now represent the phrase "From A to Zee, avoiding Tee".'
Amazon mogul, Jeff Bezos, spent last Thursday afternoon driving around to the homes of members of his family in a white van containing their Christmas gifts, according to a disgruntled ex-employee..
Upon arrival at each address, he rudely left the van slewed across driveways, blocking thoroughfares in the process, before delivering each gift by tossing it over the back fence of the recipient without bothering to knock and completely ignoring any Handle With Care notification on the packaging.
This despite the fact that it was raining extremely heavily at the time.
Bezos then hurriedly stuffed tiny, economy Xmas cards through the wrong doors before speeding off to the next address as if his @rse was on fire.
Upon finding a number of parcels left over at the end of the day the billionaire mail order boss opened them, keeping anything half-decent for himself and then throwing the rest into a hedge before emailing the family member concerned with a spurious, lying message, explaining that he’d tried to deliver the parcel earlier but nobody was home so he’d attempt it again at some point in the New Year.
One close family member recounted that it wasn’t unusual to find Xmas gifts from Bezos lying in a puddle outside the house with one corner of the box torn open revealing the contents.
image from pixabay
