NewsBiscuit's '15 Years of Typos' - now available in hardback

Having hit your shelves a year ago and selling all of 2 copies, ’15 Years of Typos’ is finally available in hardback. The perfect draft excluder for this Christmas. This humble collection of stories is the culmination of years of frantic scribbling and at least three minutes of careful editing.

‘Five stars? I thought I was reviewing a toaster’ – Amazon Reviewer

‘Although NewsBiscuit remains proud to have been Britain’s first daily news satire website, I am forced to admit that in the years that followed, others may have come along. Yeah, those bastards totally copied my idea of copying The Onion.’ John O’Farrell

‘All true’ – D.Trump

Launched 2006 by John O’Farrell, with the noble aims of eradicating global poverty, creating a lasting peace in the Middle East and providing a daily dose of humour to bored people at work. Since then, after many cups of tea and plenty of biscuits, we are confident that George. W. Bush would agree – ‘Mission Accomplished’.

All profits from the book go directly to charity. We are delighted to support ‘Arts Emergency’ the award-winning mentoring charity and support network (https://www.arts-emergency.org/) helping young people get a fair start in arts and humanities. And ‘English Pen’ – one of the world’s oldest human rights organisations, championing the freedom to write and read around the word (https://www.englishpen.org/)

Hundreds of writers have contributed to the making of this irreverent book – which Mr. O’Farrell’s lawyers were keen to make very clear.

Amazon forest fires could devastate Bake Off warn Channel 4

The forest fires currently raging across parts of the Amazon could have a devastating effect on the new series of Bake Off, the head of Channel 4 entertainment warned today. Fires in the Amazon rainforest have been burning out of control for several weeks, putting supplies of dried cassava, tucupi and red cochineal in short supply.

‘Some essential ingredients used by the Bake Off chefs could dry up completely if the fires continue to rage out of control’, warned a spokesperson for show maker Love Productions.

Creative director Jason Beesley said that some of the chefs lined up for the new series have already considering pulling out of the event. ‘One chef said that if he can’t get his hands on a brace of macaweira hog plums then his signature dish would simply be ruined and appearing on the show would be pointless', noted Beasley.

Some Bake Off chefs are blaming the Brazilian people, calling them selfish and lazy saying they are not doing enough to safeguard the sort of essential baking ingredients needed to put on a top TV show like Bake Off.

‘I don’t think they realise how much hard work and effort goes into producing a show like Bake Off’. said contestant Jay Tranter. ‘This is important…surely they can get a couple of fires under control.'

'They need to sort those fires out soon or the Christmas and New Year specials could be ruined' continued Tranter. 'Those Brazilian farmers should not be allowed to stand by and watch their crops burn down. Not when it puts something as important as Bake Off at risk’.

BBC producers also warned that the rainforest fires could affect the new series of Strictly.

‘Most of the sequins we use on our ballgowns are made in Brazil', said one producer. 'Some of the chalk we use on the dance floors also comes from the region. Strictly contestants can’t really be expected to dance an authentic Carimbo Capoeia if the sequins are made outside Brazil. These things matter’.

Fans of the show say they will be devastated if silly little forest fires are allowed to ruin their Saturday night entertainment. One tearful Bake Off fan even threatened to let her vagina hair grow out saying she was fully prepared to go naked on a beach without waxing.

'I think they call it re-wilding or something', said the fan; I read something about it on Facebook....where you let the bushes grow back again'.

Image by congerdesign from Pixabay

Probe into false Amazon reviews, given six stars

Regulators have been analysing reviews on Amazon to determine whether the internet giant is allowing false product claims to exist on its website or is just avoiding paying any tax. ‘We found that Amazon did a fair job – five stars,’ said one (verified) investigator. ‘Too good to be true – five stars and thanks for the bonus’ said another.

The EU has been checking into the financial affairs of Amazon for some time. ‘Cheeky, unorthodox, great Tesla btw,’ was the final report headline.