An alien is beginning legal action against NASA, after a probe to the asteroid Bennu collected a sample and then returned it to Earth.
Zuflaxizog said 'Stole a sample I think you'll find. I had just finished renovating my summer house and that probe has made a complete mess of my garden. Mrs Zuflaxizog is not pleased. You have a cheek calling Bennu the most dangerous rock in the Solar System, when Suella Braverman lives on your one. Going to a new world and stealing stuff - it's all a bit British Museum, isn't it?'
Zuflaxizog added 'I felt a great disturbance, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. So either a planet has been destroyed or the Met Police have been violently kettling a peaceful demonstration, Suella-style.'