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The UK's flight paths - many of which were decided 70 years ago - will be re-designed for modern aircraft and flying habits through the introduction of technologies successfully proven on the UK's Smart Motorway Network, the government has revealed.
Speaking at Heathrow Airport this morning, the Aviation Minister showed how a revamp would improve travel in busy areas such as around London, telling us, "Using drones, we'll create airborne gantries that control the approach speed and volume of aircraft in an area. During busy times, this means we can increase the number of landing slots with no detriment or risk to anyone. Just look at the M1 or M25 in rush-hour and you can see how well and safely this idea works."
The Civil Aviation Authority has agreed to the idea, providing they are given funding for a fleet of aeroplanes to put out airborne cones in the event of a breakdown, or simply because they feel like it.
image from pixabay
Aviation experts are keenly watching new airline PissAir (formerly trading as Jettison) whose, some say, radical business strategy is that it doesn't actually fly anywhere. It simply leases clapped-out, non-airworthy aircraft which it parks air-side in odd tucked-away corners at various unpopular, cash-strapped airports.
A PissAir spokesperson commented: 'We fill the aircraft full of brain-dead drunks to whom we flog cheap (but still highly-profitable) duty-free booze until they can't drink any more, or they pass out.
'Our package holidays are highly profitable and very popular since our customers can never remember whether or not they ever actually flew anywhere, and mostly don't care.'
It's understood Ryanair CEO, Mick O'Leary, is keenly awaiting Pissair's first year of trading figures before offering his opinion on the venture.
Photo by Bornil Amin on Unsplash
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